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Friday, January 2, 2009

Shades of Gray

I've always loved the color spectrum. Its vibrancy and the ability to show how primary colors when mixed, can create other colors. Each color, although independent, was connected. 

The black and white spectrum was most interesting to me because the shades of gray were seamless from black to white. When I think about that, it reminds me how all of our actions are connected, one flowing into the next - seamlessly, fluid and sometimes clouded.

A fellow blogger posted a piece called Innocence in Infidelity? which talks about her best friend's untimely connection to a married man. After reading the blog I started thinking about the question she asked, "Is it ever OK to cheat?" I definitively answered in the realm of my black/white spectrum, "No."

Then I thought about how there are many situations that are clearly black and white. But what about the areas of gray? Pending divorce. Separation. It's all the colorful history we don't know that affects our actions...and I preface that by saying, "in some cases."

My husband and I were talking about people who commit crimes (like robbery) that inevitably go horribly wrong and the offender gets hurt. I said, "If you go into a place with the intent to rob it, you get exactly what you deserve." My husband then said, "Well what if that person is stealing to get food for their kids."

The colorful details are what consoles us, condemns us and even confuses us. Usually our actions are dictated by the moment and our personal feelings. Life is about deciding which spectrum you are working with - black and white or color. Naturally in color, things are more visible, more intriguing (or less) and more appealing (or less). In black and white, there is no variation. It's either right or wrong, yes or no, cheat or not. But what about the gray? Gray is just the watered down version of the definite.

So, is it OK to cheat? Not to me. I still like my black and white spectrum. I just omit the gray...and dye it brown. [Smile]