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Friday, January 2, 2009

Shades of Gray

I've always loved the color spectrum. Its vibrancy and the ability to show how primary colors when mixed, can create other colors. Each color, although independent, was connected. 

The black and white spectrum was most interesting to me because the shades of gray were seamless from black to white. When I think about that, it reminds me how all of our actions are connected, one flowing into the next - seamlessly, fluid and sometimes clouded.

A fellow blogger posted a piece called Innocence in Infidelity? which talks about her best friend's untimely connection to a married man. After reading the blog I started thinking about the question she asked, "Is it ever OK to cheat?" I definitively answered in the realm of my black/white spectrum, "No."

Then I thought about how there are many situations that are clearly black and white. But what about the areas of gray? Pending divorce. Separation. It's all the colorful history we don't know that affects our actions...and I preface that by saying, "in some cases."

My husband and I were talking about people who commit crimes (like robbery) that inevitably go horribly wrong and the offender gets hurt. I said, "If you go into a place with the intent to rob it, you get exactly what you deserve." My husband then said, "Well what if that person is stealing to get food for their kids."

The colorful details are what consoles us, condemns us and even confuses us. Usually our actions are dictated by the moment and our personal feelings. Life is about deciding which spectrum you are working with - black and white or color. Naturally in color, things are more visible, more intriguing (or less) and more appealing (or less). In black and white, there is no variation. It's either right or wrong, yes or no, cheat or not. But what about the gray? Gray is just the watered down version of the definite.

So, is it OK to cheat? Not to me. I still like my black and white spectrum. I just omit the gray...and dye it brown. [Smile]



  1. Wow Mickey... can you go any deeper. I say No to infedelity but wow do I have a lot of friends that have had the unfortunate experience. I always say "never say never", but I am sure to work at gaurding my heart and "Walking the Line" as best put by Johnny Cash. Marriage is hard no doubt.. but I'm in it for the long haul. I'm sure the color spectrum comes if you lose a child, one of you falls to illness, etc.. I'm not here to Judge.

  2. I'm with you on this one sister girl. To me it's very black/white. So it's a no for me. I'm not married but I do not wish infidelity for myself or anyone else. If you must, shouldn't you become single 1st? It seems like such a selfish thing to do.

  3. i took this question to GOD, and he replied, "two come before me and become one, that he becomes her, and she become he." so i posed this question, if "he becomes her, and she becomes he" then, who are you really creating? ...YOURSELF!

  4. umm... I like the shades of brown comment at the end. Black & white?
    Grey/Gray... seems to be the part of life called "denial". To me it represents the realities that we choose not to be real about...sometimes. It seems that when we're fearlessly honest and truthful with ourselves, we can then approach the extreme ends of the black & white spectrum. That requires an inspection of ourselves and an earned ability to forgive ourselves for past iniquities whether to ourselves, to others, or to God. I don't agree that the man was correct in this instance, but how far does grace travel? We've all made mistakes. Forgiveness, infidelity, selfishness, grace, denial, pain, responsibility...these are all things that popped into my head when reading this. Thanks Mo.

  5. Thanks everyone for your comments! A new blog is coming soon.